At first, he seemed like something out of a rom-com: thoughtful texts, a bouquet of fresh roses, and the kind of manners your grandma would swoon over. Eric wasn’t just charming—he was curated. Every move felt intentional, polished, and dare I say… perfect.

But the illusion shattered the very next morning when he sent me a PDF that made my stomach drop. No, it wasn’t a playlist of songs that reminded him of our evening. It wasn’t a sweet poem or a recap of our favorite shared jokes. It was—brace yourself—an itemized invoice. Yes. An actual document, complete with line items and emotional “charges” for everything he’d done during our date. A rose? Worth a kiss. Holding the door? A selfie. Dinner? “Payable via second date.” At the bottom, in bold font: “Payment due in full. No refunds.”

Just. Wow. Let me rewind. I’d been single for a while, and my best friend Mia thought I deserved a win. Enter Eric—her boyfriend’s friend—who came recommended as kind, mature, and emotionally intelligent. With two trusted referrals and a few exchanged messages, I decided to meet him for dinner.

On the surface, the date went well. He was attentive, funny, and refreshingly articulate. We talked about everything from true crime podcasts to why ketchup shouldn’t be in the fridge (a hill I’ll die on). He picked up the check and even handed me a personalized keychain “for good luck.” It felt… sincere. But that invoice changed everything. I sent it to Mia, who immediately showed it to her boyfriend, Chris. His reaction? Equal parts shocked and entertained. So much so that he whipped up a parody invoice of his own: fees for “emotional distress inflicted on womankind,” a charge for “performative gallantry,” and a hefty fine for “delusional entitlement.” We sent it back to Eric.

He was not amused. He called me immature, said I didn’t “understand real men,” and that I was “too modern to appreciate effort.” I blocked him. Immediately. Mia was mortified, but I assured her this wasn’t on her. If anything, it became our new favorite inside joke—and a story that still makes us laugh over late-night wine and cheese. The takeaway? If someone sees kindness as currency and charm as leverage, that’s not romance—it’s a transaction. And I’m not here to be bartered with.

That night taught me to trust my gut, laugh off the nonsense, and always, always value my boundaries. Eric didn’t show up to connect—he showed up with a ledger. And while he may have expected a return on investment, all he got was a well-deserved roast and a blocked number. In the wild world of dating, not every gentleman is what he seems—but with good friends, quick wit, and unshakable self-worth, the only thing I walked away with was a story I’ll never forget.